or Getting Fired a Month Before Christmas is Awesome! So, here we are a couple weeks away from christmas (I hate christmas, but with two kids I have to fake it, is this what my wife feels like?) and I don’t have a job, but you know what I do have? A mortgage (well actually I have two mortgages, the house I live in and one on my rental property, which I need to find a tenant for), a car payment, and bills. So I’m doing alright.I do have a job lined up for January (and possibly another one) and it pays more then the crappy graphic design job I had before. I have also been able to take up some freelance, so the bank shouldn’t be taking back my house (maybe they’ll take one of the children instead, what do you need two kids for anyway). So I have decided to make a list of 5 ways on how not to get fired. 1) don’t be an employee
Once you rely on someone to provide you with a paycheck you lose any power you have. You could be the shit (awesome), but if you are working for a paycheck you need to realize that it could be taken away at any time.
2) be a yes man (or woman)
Your boss is more likely to keep you around if you kiss his/her ass. Hey, who’s willing to do some overtime this holiday season, if that’s you, congratulations, you’re the yes man.
3) don’t ask for a decent wage
Now this point is probably best directed at unskilled laborers like graphic designers. Truth is you could pay me more or you could hire someone fresh out of school that is willing to work for practically nothing because they live at home still with their parents and their only expense is that $200 per week weed habit.
4) don’t have an opinion
Question: your boss asks you “what do you think?” do you answer a) what you really think understanding that he is asking for an opinion, therefore he can’t be upset for what you really think or b) what you know what he wants you to answer? If you answered “b”, congratulations, you still have your lousy job.
5) be invisible
You’ve heard it before, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”, the grease in this instance is a pink slip. If you ran a business would you keep someone around that kept stealing attention from you (if you answered “yes” hey I’m unemployed, hook me up)? I have learned a lot working as a graphic designer, one of those things is that this industry is filled with egos and when the owners of the company are graphic designers as well it’s probably best that you think inside their box (even if it smells like shit).
There you have it, did I miss anything (no), sure you probably can’t come to work drunk and shooting your boss in the leg may get you a round of applause, but it’ll also get you fired. This is a list of techniques that i have read about that is supposed to help you climb the corporate ladder, but try them and lets see what happens.Do you agree, disagree (stupid), leave a comment, but don’t leave a comment if you don’t want me to respond. You should also subscribe because i will be dropping knowledge. PEACE!