Tag Archives: life

IT HURTS TO WRITE THIS

2006 hyundai tucsonso i am back again. i bet you all have written me off as some blogger hack who can’t cut the mustard (cut the mustard? is that a saying?), but you would be wrong…again. so now you are probably feeling pretty bad for doubting me, but i forgive you, you are only human and humans make mistakes. so let me tell you what happened to me and why i haven’t been participating in this online community.

january 15th, 2008 – michelle (my wife) was going to teach a private swimming lesson and i thought it would be a great idea to take anthony (he loves swimming, i hate swimming, it’s just so pointless). so we get ready, get anthony really excited and we’re on our way. fucking eh!the swimming pool is a 5 minute drive from my home, but we had to pick up michelle’s student so we would take about 10 minutes. so on the way to michelle’s student (we will call her from now on no swim) we get into a pretty bad car accident. we are little banged up, but not badly hurt, anthony didn’t even cry.

so what happened?

a moron decided to go through an intersection without looking. i hit her passenger side door at about 50 km/hour, pushed her car up onto a snow bank and a tree. i was in shock. what the fuck happened. i have never been in a accident and was experiencing a number of emotions. i was worried about michelle and anthony. i was angry that this stupid cunt (yeah i said it) endangered the life of my wife and child. i was concerned about my vehicle, it being a newer car and me still owing more then it has depreciated, i was concerned that if it was to get written off (and it definitely was going to be written off) that i would have to owe a residual amount that insurance would not cover.

conclusion

so the point is i have not been able to write because i banged up my wrist and the therapist told to take it easy, which has been incredibly hard for me to do (no playing, no drawing, no weightlifting).

my wife is a little worse off then me. she is suffering from back pains, shoulder pains, leg pains, and neck pains. she is still functional (she’s kinda this tough chick), but i am finding myself helping out a lot more then before. i guess thats good, but i still have to make a living and seriously these kids drive me crazy.

anthony is fine, he hasn’t complained once about aches or pains. he is just upset that he didn’t get to go swimming, he still talks about it. he did get a bad cold and cough after the accident, but i don’t think it’s related.

isabelle is good. she was visiting her grandma so she wasn’t with us.my car was written off.

so now i’m car-less. can’t get a new one because michelle is on maternity and i am self employed. since i have only been self employed for a couple months i don’t have an accurate record of income. michelle and i have gone without vehicle before, but we are finding it extremely hard to get around now with two small children, especially in -40 degrees celsius weather (actually today it is -50 degrees celsius, my dog doesn’t even want to go outside).

nothing else to do but get on with life. shit happens. i understand this. i know things will get better, but that doesn’t mean i can’t still be pissed about it. the morale of this story is don’t be a fucking moron, your stupid, idiotic decisions don’t just affect you. it’s like throwing a rock in a lake, even the smallest rock will make ripples.

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KICKING LIFE IN THE BALLZ

Finally! Sorry for the long delay, life has been kicking me in the balls and I had to sit on the sidelines for awhile, but i’m back and i’m wearing a cup (fuck you life). So what’s up? How’s the fam? Business? Seeing anyone?

So what’s up?

Uhmmm, not much I geuss, just sort of kicking it. Over the holidays I became really frustrated and depressed with the direction my life was headed (fuck you Santa and you too baby Jesus). I lost a lot of the initial drive that I had when I decided to get fired from my job. At first it was great. I was getting clients, mostly through word of mouth, but it was paying the bills. Then there were no more clients and even worse people that i had met with and decided to work with changed their minds.

I panicked and did the unthinkable, I got a job! You know that shitty thing I got fired from in November, well I decided that I didn’t deserve any better, lowered my standards and took a job at a place that I knew I was going to hate. I was feeling like I had no other choice, I’m the man of the house, I should be bringing in a steady income, that’s the rules. Plus, like my dad says ‘only lazy people work from home’.

So, January 3rd, 2008 I wake up at 6am, but not to workout, no I am going to my new job. I get there and stay the whole day. Eight hours wasted. The job sucked, but hey, I was contributing to my family, so it was worth it, right? That night I could not sleep. I kept feeling sorry for myself. I hated the job, but what choice did I have?

6 am my alarm goes off. I lay there in bed wide awake, I turn to my wife and let her know that I won’t be going to work today, or never, without opening her eyes she says, ‘okay’. Fucking right. It was okay, all of a sudden a calm came over me. Things have a way of working out and I was being a huge punk for feeling sorry for myself.

‘It’s not how hard you can hit, but how hard of a hit you can take”

I saw Rocky 6 during the holidays (don’t judge me), and that line stood out. I am usually a pretty strong guy (personality, physically I am as frail as a baby panda). I set goals and acheive them. I don’t understand words like can’t, fail, quit, but that’s exactly what i was allowing myself to do. I guess after you have been hit repeatedly for awhile, you break a little. Well if Rocky could take a hit, fuck it so can I (how old is he?).

How’s the fam?

Good. Anthony is still testing his limits and I love him for it, but for crying out loud, give me a fucking break. Isabelle is still daddy’s lil’ princess. She is trying really hard to crawl and what I find interesting about this is that her and Anthony are completely different. When Anthony was learning he would get frustrated easily and cry, Isabelle doesn’t. She works just as hard as Anthony did, but she never complains. She is also teething right now so my wife and I are not getting much sleep or sex. Michelle is still the best wife I could hope for even though she pisses me off, i know she’s got my back.

Business?

I have taken a break from business. When I was going through that bout of self doubt, I made a decision to put business on hold. I didn’t want my attitude at the time to affect my feelings towards business, but I took some good hits and I know I can take plenty more so it’s time to bring the business back to the foreground and really concentrate on making it successful. I have no choice.

I have also decided to sell my rental property. It was taking to much time and focus from the other important things in my life. I also live in a hot real estate market so selling it should be pretty easy and after everything is said and done I should be making $15,000 – $20,000, not bad for only owning the property for a year.

Seeing anyone?

Only you, I promise. Subscribe please. I am extremely insecure and if you don’t subscribe I’ll feel like a total loser.

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